What I'll Remember Best, Part 1

Our expedition to Maeve offers us once-in-a-lifetime-moments simply because there are so many firsts involved … On this South East Asian leg of the journey, the firsts for me come in the form of wonderful moments with Kath's aunts, uncles, cousins and their children, close family members I've never met before but have heard much about.

Our final day in Singapore before departing for Malaysia turned into one of those precious confluence moments, a never-to-be-forgotten family get-together that felt like a Fong-side follow up to the Fordes' games-plus-surprise-announcement get-together we held at our home on Christmas Eve.

Kath's cousin Lin took the day off to accompany us on a tour of Singapore's malls and museums. Naturally, Lin knew precisely where to take us to have the best experience of Singapore … Driving us deep into the island-city's sprawling commercial district, Lin parked beneath a gallery of shops arranged on several floors around a broad open court; down on the central court floor was a bazaar of artisans from different parts of China. The bazaar was one of Singapore's many preparatory offerings prior to the big Year the Pig celebrations. Gong Xi Fa Choy!

Just minutes after entering the gallery, Kath, Lin, Lucilla, Marcus and I wandered into a row of Chinese children's boutiques---the first one we entered was the best of the bunch, and had such fabulous baby and young child finds within that we bought several items for Robyn and Maeve, and a shirt for Miller that was the gift-find of the whole trip to Asia so far.

From the bazaar we moved on to the Museum of Asian Civilizations. This was a fantastic venue; the displays revealed Singapore's distinctive geocommercial role in Asian history … If Turkey (and Istanbul in particular) was fated by geography to be the great crossroad of trade in the West, then Singapore was surely destined to be the crossroads of the East, for it bottlenecks South Asia's most important sea passage: the straits between a long longitudinal land barrier (the Malay peninsula) and a long latitudinal land barrier (the Indonesian island chain).

The museum's displays used a combo of artifact and high-tech to tell us the fascinating history of the bottleneck island: the waves of foreign religions that swept through (Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam), unifying this Earthsea-like region of local island-ethnicities and narrow peninsula peoples partially because they were so top-down, emphasizing obedience to a central authority; the arrival of the West, the Dutch pacifying the wars between religious sects that had broken out across Indonesia; then the British seizing the high ground when Stamford Raffles realized that seizing Singapore was the key to controlling the whole of Asian sea trade.

Leaving the Singapore floor of the great museum, we entered a visiting exhibit called Mystery Men of China---the pieces on loan from central China are among the most spectacular ancient archeological finds of Asia. So spectacular that a party of visiting dignitaries arrived, journalists in tow, their enormous bodyguards brushing past us for camera cameos in front of the most awesome Mystery Men pieces. Our party gave the diplomatic group a wide berth---except for Marcus, who probably ended up on Singapore's evening newscasts because he stayed right where he was, cameras pointing at the dignitaries and at him, dressed in his tourist shorts and t-shirt in the midst of the black-suited six-foot-plus bodyguards.

From the museum Lin led us out to the Singapore river waterfront, past the city's most historic buildings, and then to a rendezvous with the energetic aunt Margaret and her husband Choong Chee, Lucilla's older brother. We all met in the base of the Swiss Hotel Tower, then shot up the 70 floors for a high tea so high over the island's center that we could see the ships in the straits of Singapore and many of the surrounding islands. What a fantastic place for high tea!

And for a surprising family revelation … After sampling the marvelous buffet---lots of local dishes, congees, lahksas, different soups and delicacies from the sea, dals and nan breads for dipping, delicious desserts I've never seen before much less tasted---we sat down for one of those family meals where the truth comes out. Discussing Maeve's adoption, the family asked why China refused to consider Kath's Chinese heritage. Expedited adoption is the usual case for Canadians of Chinese descent. But one of the problems, Kath told everyone, was lack of proof of her maternal grandmother's heritage.

Whereupon Lucilla and Choong Chee began talking about the old days, what papers they had, how much had been lost during the Japanese invasion. They launched into the story of how they'd hidden in caves near their home in Ipoh to avoid the soldiers; Lucilla revealed that she'd actually been born in one of those caves … She asked Choong Chee if there could be any records left, any papers stating their mother's birthplace tucked into a drawer at their oldest brother's home in Ipoh (the next morning we intended to bus north into Malaysia, and visit Lucilla's eldest surviving brother in Ipoh).

"All we need is one official document," Lucilla told Choong Chee at the table, "one paper proving that Mama was born in China. Then Kathleen and Patrick can adopt another daughter from China in a shorter time than three years."

"But Mama was not born in China!" Choong Chee declared. "She was born in Penang." (An island off Malaysia's coast) "Didn't anyone ever tell you?"

Lucialla's look of incredulity was akin to Brenda Blethyn's in Secrets and Lies, when she realizes she's held a mistaken assumption about birth origins all her life … "Penang? My Mama was born in Penang?" She shook her head, refusing to believe it or perhaps glimpsing the truth of it. "You mean ... But I am almost seventy," she said, blinking at her older brother in shock, "and only now I know Mama wasn't born in China? Mama!" Lucilla cried, turning now to her daughter Kathleen to explain apologetically, "Mama was from Penang."

Choong Chee let out a great laugh, and so did the rest of us. More stories followed about Mama, how strong she was; how fierce and no-nonsense during the war years; how even the neighbours were in fear of her. How she'd chased away a man who'd been skulking in the bushes with a meat cleaver from her kitchen. Kath and I captured these stories on video, as our party peered out the windows from the highest restaurant I've ever eaten in, gazing far out over sealane-straddling Singapore and the islands beyond. Then the clouds above opened up and curtains of cooling rain suddenly enveloped everything …

A priceless afternoon, a family outing we'll never forget.